Obsession
by JantoJones
Summary: Napoleon has a problem with a woman.


Napoleon Solo hated public dead drops. This was especially the case with a location such as the New York Aquarium at Coney Island. Thankfully, with it being early winter, there were fewer visitors, but it still meant more innocents than he would have liked. Still, his instructions had been clear; slide the package behind the trashcan, next to the walruses, at 11:30. Glancing at his watch, Solo noted that he still had five minutes to wait. He'd made sure to arrive earlier than necessary in order to appear like any other visitor. As he slowly drifted to the walrus enclosure, Napoleon heard a woman screech out his name. Turning toward the sound he came face to face with his new neighbour.

Jenny Windsor had moved in to the apartment across the hall from his two weeks previously, and had been the bane of his life ever since. At first sight, Napoleon had been attracted to the slim brunette, but his attraction soon waned upon speaking with her. Within the space of twenty minutes, he knew more about her family than he did his own. Over the following days, each time he had entered or left his apartment, Jenny came out of hers. Every time, she regaled him with the minutiae of her existence. It didn't seem to matter to her what time of day it was, or even if he had a date with him.

"Mr Solo, fancy you being at the aquarium, I'm here with my sister and my niece. My niece loves sea animals. Are you here with anyone, or are you visiting alone? Not that there's anything wrong . . ."

"Miss Windsor!" Napoleon interrupted, noticing that she was very much on her own. "It is, of course, wonderful to see you here, but I'm . . ."

"We're just about to go for a burger; would you like to join us?"

"Yes, that would be lovely," he agreed, quickly coming up with a way to get rid of her. "You and your family go on ahead, and I'll catch up."

"Great! What would you like? I'll get it for you."

Napoleon pulled some cash from his pocket and handed it her.

"Let me get it," he said, pressing the money into her hand and gently pushing her away. "I'll have what you're having."

As she headed away, he checked his watch again. Napoleon had just enough time to secret the package and leave. He headed straight for HQ, and entirely failed to notice the unhappy face of Jenny Windsor watching him from the burger bar.

"What on Earth was the debacle at the aquarium all about?" demanded Mr Waverly, as Solo entered the office.

Napoleon didn't have to ask how the chief knew about it. One of the two agents assigned to watch for whoever picked up the package would have reported it.

"I'm sorry Sir. It was my new neighbour. She seems to have taken an obsessive interest in me."

"I normally turn a blind eye to your female dalliances, but when they start interfering with assignments I will have to take a stricter line."

"Believe me Sir, she is not a dalliance," Napoleon protested.

"I wonder if she's an enemy agent," Waverly postulated, as he chewed on the end of his pipe.

"I doubt it. Her level of detail is far too complex to be a cover story."

"Whatever the case is Mr Solo, kindly make sure this does not happen again."

"Yes Sir."

"What's wrong?" Illya asked when Napoleon entered their office. "You look concerned."

"Mr Waverly isn't happy with me. This morning's drop was almost compromised by my neighbour."

"The mad one?"

Illya had heard almost non-stop complaints about the woman since she'd arrived at Solo's building, and was certain they had to be exaggerations. He was even starting to worry that his partner might be losing it a little.

Napoleon explained the morning's events, and Waverly's supposition.

"Can you be certain she isn't a counter agent?" Kuryakin queried. "Maybe the complexity of the detail is designed to lead you in the wrong direction."

"I seriously doubt it. I think she's your everyday nut job."

"I was going to spend the afternoon in the gym," Illya told his friend. "If it would help, I could run a deep background check on Miss Windsor. I know you have meetings for the rest of the day."

"You're a pal, Illya. You can tell me what you find when you get to my place tonight."

The pair were booked on a 6 am flight the next morning, and had decided it would be easier if they both left from the same place.

It was just past six when Napoleon arrived home. He was expecting Illya to arrive within thirty minutes, so had he enough time to shower and to order Chinese food. As he opened the door, he froze at the sound of Jenny opening her's.

"You didn't keep our date," she said in a voice Napoleon definitely didn't like.

"I'm sorry Jenny; I suddenly remembered an appointment I had."

Napoleon slowly turned and found himself looking into a pair of very crazed eyes.

"I think you should invite me in for a drink," she stated. "To make up for it."

"I have company coming over," he told her, flashing his most charming grin. "Maybe another time."

It wasn't until she produced a gun that he realised she'd been standing with her hand behind her back, and he silently berated himself.

"I suppose it's another of those tramps you keeping bringing home," Jenny snarled, as she advanced on Napoleon.

Having no other immediate option, Napoleon was forced to back into his apartment. The thought crossed his mind to draw his own weapon, but he knew he wouldn't have time. Jenny was in an agitated state, and would probably shoot before he could.

"Why do you men never see me?" The woman cried. "I'm slim and I'm pretty, yet you all push me away. Why? All I want is a little attention."

"You most definitely have my attention," Napoleon assured.

"That's true," she screamed back. "But look what you made me do, just to get you to look at me."

"Jenny, put the gun down," Solo said, keeping his voice steady. "I'll put my friend off, and I'll take you to dinner."

"It's too late! You've already proved I'm not good enough for you."

"But you are," Napoleon countered, desperately trying to calm her down. "It just took me a while to see it. I love women who fight for what they want. Please Jenny, let me show you the kind of man I really am."

For a moment, it seemed as though Jenny was going to back down. She began to lower her gun, and her gaze momentarily drifted away. Unfortunately, she very quickly snapped back.

"You're a liar," she said coldly. "All you men are. You all tell lies about me; accusing me of being mad. I won't let you say those things about me."

Stepping forward, Jenny took aim at Napoleon's head, before suddenly dropping to the floor, unconscious.

Looking over to the door, Solo was happier than he had ever been to see his partner.

"You were right, Napoleon," Illya informed him as he re-holstered his special. "Miss Windsor escaped from a secure psychiatric hospital four weeks ago. She has no family, and was orphaned at the age of three. She has a tendency to become obsessed with a man, and when they don't reciprocate her attention, she snaps and ends up either crying rape, or killing them. You were about to be number four."

Napoleon sat down heavily and ran his hands through his hair.

"I've alerted the relevant authorities, and they are on the way here," Illya continued, while pouring his partner a scotch. "I don't imagine that this experience will scare you off women for a while."

Napoleon accepted the drink and looked down at the insensible woman. With a grin bright enough to light a stadium, he replied to Illya's statement.

"What do you think, Tovarisch?"


End file.
